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{"id":239,"date":"2018-06-01T13:55:50","date_gmt":"2018-06-01T13:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/?p=239"},"modified":"2023-10-08T14:08:11","modified_gmt":"2023-10-08T14:08:11","slug":"as","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/2018\/06\/01\/as\/","title":{"rendered":"Terente \u0219i vardi\u0219tii"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u00cen caz c\u0103 nu a\u021bi auzit de el p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, de\u0219i, datorit\u0103 renumelui s\u0103u, ar fi trebuit, Terente, pe numele s\u0103u adev\u0103rat \u0218tefan Vasali, este\u00a0 unul dintre cei mai celebri r\u0103uf\u0103c\u0103tori ai Rom\u00e2niei. Majoritatea faptelor sale au fost comise la \u00eenceputul secolului trecut, iar activitatea sa infrac\u021bional\u0103 a constat \u00een jafuri, violuri \u0219i crime. De\u0219i nu-s de ici, de colo, probabil c\u0103 timpul ar fi f\u0103cut ca p\u00e2n\u0103 acum nelegiuirile sale s\u0103 fie trecute sub t\u0103cere dac\u0103 legat de persoana sa nu s-ar fi dezvoltat unele povestiri care s\u0103 aib\u0103 leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu activitatea sa sexual\u0103. Legenda spune c\u0103 era at\u00e2t de bun, \u00eenc\u00e2t dup\u0103 vreo c\u00e2teva violuri, au \u00eenceput s\u0103-l caute femeile pe el. La crime nu se pricepea la fel de bine deoarece pentru acest tip de serviciu nu era c\u0103utat, drept urmare era nevoit s\u0103-\u0219i g\u0103seasc\u0103 singur clien\u021bi. Secretul<\/em> reu\u0219itei sale a fost faptul c\u0103 era destul de dotat \u2013 pare-se c\u0103 obiectul muncii \u00eei m\u0103sura aproximativ 20 cm \u00een stare flasc\u0103 (\u00eenc\u0103 un motiv pentru femeile de azi s\u0103 \u00eentrebe unde sunt b\u0103rba\u021bii de alt\u0103dat\u0103). Poate c\u0103-n stare erect\u0103 i-ar fi m\u0103surat 20,1 \u2013\u00a0 ceea ce n-ar mai fi fost la fel de spectaculos, n-ai de unde s\u0103 \u0219tii (c\u00e2rcota\u0219 invidios!).<\/p>\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, nu \u0219tiu pe baza c\u0103rui ra\u021bionament, dup\u0103 decesul s\u0103u survenit \u00een urma unei tentative de evadare din pu\u0219c\u0103rie, s-a luat decizia s\u0103 i se taie instrumentul \u0219i s\u0103 se p\u0103streze \u00eentr-un borcan. Cu siguran\u021b\u0103 asta a fost ideea unei femei. \u0218i-\u021bi dai seama, femeia tot femeie: nu putea s\u0103 pun\u0103 o p**\u0103 \u00eentr-un borcan, a\u0219a, pe sec. A mai aruncat acolo dou\u0103 foi de dafin, trei boabe de piper, o crengu\u021b\u0103 de nuc\u2026 Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 dimensiunile neobi\u0219nuite, organul s\u0103u genital s-a mai remarcat printr-un tatuaj f\u0103cut pe \u00eentreaga sa lungime care stipula urm\u0103toarele: \u201eF*t bine \u0219i ap\u0103sat la cioc\u201d. Ar fi interesant de \u0219tiut, \u00een cazul \u00een care s-ar fi folosit un font mai mic,\u00a0 dac\u0103 ar fi \u00eenc\u0103put un roman de Sandra Brown. Obiceiul tatuajului lui Terente s-a p\u0103strat \u0219i printre b\u0103rba\u021bii din ziua de azi. M\u0103 rog, ceva similar, \u00een sensul c\u0103, multora ne\u00eenc\u0103p\u00e2ndu-le dec\u00e2t \u201eF\u201d pe organul genital, au ales s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 dragoni pe umeri.<\/p>\n

O bun\u0103 bucat\u0103 de vreme, viitorilor str\u0103jeri ai legii (pentru c\u0103 vorbim de un studiu de caz, un bandit generic) li se f\u0103cea cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 cu istoria<\/em>, astfel c\u0103 studen\u021bii la Academia de Poli\u021bie aveau acces nemijlocit \u0219i privilegiat la Capu\u2019 R\u0103ut\u0103\u021bilor<\/em> (tot \u0103\u0219tia se bag\u0103-n fa\u021b\u0103, omu\u2019 de r\u00e2nd st\u0103 \u0219i rabd\u0103). La fiecare deschidere de an universitar, rectorul Facult\u0103\u021bii de Poli\u021ba\u0219i<\/em>: \u201eBun\u0103 ziua, dragi studen\u021bi! \u00cen primul an de studii o s\u0103 vedem p**a lu\u2019 Terente. Da\u2019 o vedem, a\u0219a, mai de departe. \u00cen anul al doilea ne apropiem de Ea\u201d. \u00cen chip tragic, nemilosul timp, cel care macin\u0103 piramide \u0219i cur\u0103\u021b\u0103 regi, nu l-a p\u0103suit nici pe Terente, iar dup\u0103 o perioad\u0103 de mai bine de 80 de ani de conservare, celebra sa parte corporal\u0103 s-a degradat iremediabil, astfel \u00eenc\u00e2t \u00een urm\u0103 cu vreo c\u00e2\u021biva ani a fost scoas\u0103 din borcan \u0219i aruncat\u0103 la gunoi.<\/p>\n

P.S. Poate c\u0103 aluzia din titlul articolului ar trebui explicat\u0103 pentru cititorii mai tineri. \u00cen anii \u201990 exista un joc intitulat \u201eho\u021bii \u0219i vardi\u0219tii\u201d (n-am observat s\u0103 se mai joace de atunci, tocmai de aceea m\u0103 g\u00e2ndeam c\u0103 s-ar putea s\u0103 fie nevoie de l\u0103muriri), adic\u0103 \u201eho\u021bii \u0219i poli\u021bi\u0219tii\u201d. Un grup de copii, preferabil c\u00e2t mai mare, se \u00eemp\u0103r\u021bea \u00een dou\u0103 tabere egale \u2013 unii ho\u021bi, al\u021bii vardi\u0219ti \u2013, iar cei din urm\u0103 men\u021biona\u021bi trebuiau s\u0103-i captureze<\/em> pe cei dint\u00e2i.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00cen caz c\u0103 nu a\u021bi auzit de el p\u00e2n\u0103 acum, de\u0219i, datorit\u0103 renumelui s\u0103u, ar fi trebuit, Terente, pe numele s\u0103u adev\u0103rat \u0218tefan Vasali, este\u00a0 unul dintre cei mai celebri r\u0103uf\u0103c\u0103tori ai Rom\u00e2niei. Majoritatea faptelor sale au fost comise la \u00eenceputul secolului trecut, iar activitatea sa infrac\u021bional\u0103 a constat \u00een jafuri, violuri \u0219i crime. De\u0219i … Continue reading Terente \u0219i vardi\u0219tii<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=239"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":243,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/239\/revisions\/243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ryu.ro\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}